From Lived Experience to Leadership: Why Housing Must Be a Lifeline for Survivors

A Survivor’s Journey to Change the System

A people-first culture isn’t just a nice extra—it’s what makes businesses stronger, more resilient, and better places to be. When people thrive, so does the business.

Today, we sit down with Nicki Clarke, Head of Housing at Standing Together Against Domestic Abuse, whose journey from survivor to sector leader is a testament to resilience, purpose, and the urgent need for change.

For Nicki, working in housing isn’t just a career—it’s personal.

"When I first heard the words ‘domestic abuse victim,’ I rejected them. I had no idea what was happening to me, let alone that I needed support. But when I finally accessed help, I saw the huge role housing played in my safety, stability, and recovery."

Like so many survivors, Nicki didn’t immediately recognise her experience as abuse. It was only after taking a domestic abuse awareness course that the realisation hit.

"The trainer explained how a healthy relationship becomes unhealthy. I started mentally ticking off behaviours—'Yes, that happened to me'—and before I knew it, I’d counted 30 things. That moment hit me like a wave. I sat in my car afterwards and just broke down. But it also lit a fire in me—I knew I had to do something."

At the time, Nicki was working as a part-time receptionist at a housing provider. As she rebuilt her life, she began to see how vital housing was for survivors. Too often, they weren’t just escaping abuse—they were also facing eviction, homelessness, and a housing system that wasn’t designed to protect them.

"I realised that housing was absolutely central to a survivor’s journey. And if we got that right, we could change everything."

Nicki’s first opportunity to reshape housing responses came in 2018 when the Chartered Institute of Housing launched the ‘Make a Stand’ campaign. The campaign urged housing providers to:

-        Implement domestic abuse policies for residents and staff.

-        Appoint a domestic abuse champion.

-        Ensure survivors could easily access support services.

Nicki saw an opportunity and took action. She pitched the idea to her executive team, built a working group, and led her organisation through DAHA (Domestic Abuse Housing Alliance) accreditation—becoming the first DAHA-accredited housing provider in the South West.

"That process taught me so much. I saw how simple policy changes—like appointing a domestic abuse champion or improving staff training—could completely transform survivor experiences."

But policy alone wasn’t enough. She wanted to break the silence and challenge outdated narratives about domestic abuse in housing.

Breaking the Silence: Speaking Out for Change

Despite her advocacy, Nicki had never spoken publicly about her own experience—until she was asked to share her story at a housing and domestic abuse conference in Bristol in 2019.

"The room was full—130 men, mostly contractors. I was terrified. But I thought, the campaign is called Make a Stand. So I need to put my money where my mouth is.’"

"The reaction was overwhelming. It made me realise the power of speaking out. It made me believe that I could make a difference."

That moment changed everything. Nicki saw the power of lived experience in shaping policy and practice. She realised that survivors weren’t just statistics—they were experts. And their voices needed to be at the heart of housing policy.

That moment changed everything. Nicki saw the power of lived experience in shaping policy and practice. She realised that survivors weren’t just statistics—they were experts. And their voices needed to be at the heart of housing policy.

Housing Must Be a Foundation for Recovery

One of Nicki’s most frustrating experiences has been watching housing decisions made for survivors without their input.

"I’ve sat in so many housing meetings where people say, ‘She just has to move.’ But what if she doesn’t want to? What if her children are settled in school? What if her support system is in place? Too often, if a survivor refuses to relocate, services withdraw support. That’s not a choice—it’s coercion by another name."

This is why Nicki champions a survivor-led housing response:

• Keep survivors in their homes whenever possible—by installing sanctuary measures and security measures.

• Move the perpetrator, not the survivor, if relocation is needed.

• Ensure housing providers are active participants in safeguarding, not just bystanders assigning banding.

• Give survivors autonomy over their own future, rather than forcing them into unsafe, unfamiliar circumstances.
  
  
  "For too long, the system has asked survivors to uproot their entire lives while abusers face no consequences. We need to flip that narrative."

  Scaling Change: Whole Housing and Policy Reform

  
  Nicki’s work led her to Standing Together, where she now spearheads efforts to expand the Whole Housing Approach—a model that ensures all housing options (social housing, private rentals, emergency accommodation, and refuge spaces) have the tools and options available to support survivors with their housing needs, whatever their circumstances.

  
  But to make this happen, she says government action is essential.

  "Every local authority should be implementing Whole Housing as standard. It’s the most comprehensive approach we have. But to do that, we need political will. We need legislation that forces housing providers to take responsibility for domestic abuse—not just as an afterthought, but as a core function of their role."
  
  

  And it’s not just about better policies—it’s about more homes.

  "We have to build more social housing. Survivors are staying in unsafe situations or facing homelessness because we simply don’t have enough places to house people. This isn’t just a domestic abuse issue—it’s a housing crisis."

  A Call to Action: Housing Must Be Part of the Solution
  
  Nicki’s message to housing providers, policymakers, and society is clear:
  

  ·       Survivors must be given a choice—they should not be forced to move unless they want to.

  ·       The perpetrator—not the survivor—should be the one relocated.

  ·       Local authorities must adopt the Whole Housing Approach as standard.

  ·       Government must invest in social housing to ensure survivors aren’t trapped in unsafe situations.

  ·       Housing providers must take DAHA accreditation seriously—because domestic abuse is a housing issue.

  "Housing isn’t just about bricks and mortar. It’s about safety, stability, and dignity. Without a secure home, survivors can’t begin to rebuild their lives. If we get this right, we don’t just support individual survivors—we change the system for everyone."

  Conclusion: A Survivor-Centred Future for Housing and Domestic Abuse
  Through her journey—both personal and professional—Nicki Clarke has become a fierce advocate for a survivor-led approach to housing and domestic abuse response. At the core of her work lies a deep belief that housing providers, policymakers, and support services must centre survivors’ voices in every decision they make.
  

  "You can’t have an effective housing response without a Coordinated Community Response (CCR). Housing providers hold crucial insights—like complaints from neighbours about shouting, or erratic rent payments—that other agencies may never see. Yet, too often, they’re left out of the conversation. A true CCR means bringing housing to the table—not just to allocate banding but to truly listen and act in a way that serves survivors best."
  
  For Nicki, the next generation of housing and domestic abuse professionals must lead with lived experience.

  "Talk to survivors. Listen to their experiences. Build solutions with them, not for them."

  "Too often, we see policies and processes that look good on paper but fail survivors in practice. That’s why lived experience leadership is so vital. We can’t just assume we know what’s best—we need to ask, adapt, and commit to doing better."

  
  Her work at Standing Together is driving a fundamental shift in how housing and domestic abuse are understood—and proving that when we put survivors at the centre, we don’t just change individual lives, we reshape the system for good.

  
  "We can’t change what happened to me. But we can make sure that no one else has to go through the same battles alone."